This week has been a pretty good week. Eros Gathering was a great start and I had some really good energy for a couple of days. I forgot to mediate and I think the dark energy returned...I need to be consist with mediating. Also, I need to start doing yoga again.
S has been calling. He has even ask if he could visit. I never really thought he would but he made his appearance last night. He confuses me. He calls and basically starts drama by regurgitating the lies that bitch has to offer. She doesn't give him the whole truth and then shows him that I posted a comment after her. Its frustrating that he states he is intelligent but is unable to see that my responses are appropriate to the poster, not just to agitate and start drama. He doesn't see her inappropriate post because the owners of the groups feel they are inappropriate and delete them. I have yet to have a post deleted...hmmm...wonder why. Could it be that I respond to the poster? Hmmmm....
He doesn't see the damage he has done. I think he feels that since I'm talking too him that everything is fine but it isn't. He states he misses the good times we had. The funny thing is I don't remember any good times. This is partly because of what I was going through and the other part how he responded. I wish he would understand that he has nothing to offer me. That he has driven a wedge between us with how he has responded to the whole situation. It just shows he didn't take the time to know me. I guess he will learn when I'm truly gone and no longer available.
On the other hand, G continues to tell me how he loves me. This week he surprised and scared me a little by telling me that I will never know how much he wants me and loves me. As I have told him, time and distance has been against us. I'm hopeful that at some point, one of us will actually be able to make it to see the other. I think if we ever do meet face to face, it will be so amazing that neither will want to separate from the other. We have taken the time to get to know each other and meeting will be the needed bonus.
G and I have been talking for almost 4 years. He also told me that he see the progress I have made in that time. Oh...don't doubt we have had our problems. I have deleted him and re-added him several times. I think he is the one person that I can tell anything too and he will be supportive. I think if I truly needed him, he would come to my assistance. He sees me as an intelligent, independent, strong-willed woman. Instead of stating what he believes to be negative or break me, he wants to nurture the areas which I show weakness such as patience. He encourages me to try what I desire and not to hold back.
Oh...how I wish he was here or I was there...I think G is the reason I am hesitate about getting into a real relationship. Because of how we feel about each other, it wouldn't be fair to anyone that I become involved with. Also, he knows that I have needs and encourages me to take care of them. He doesn't demand that I suffer.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I'm a strong,independent woman who has only recently became aware of my submissive side. In reviewing my life, I have wanted to relinquish control and be dominated.
About Me
- sensualfreak
- I have recently had my submissive side awakened. I've had some tough times while learning to accept what I have always been. With acceptance, we are able to move to the next level.
Quotes
"It means nothing to dominate the weak....it's a badge of honor to dominate the strong.... Show me a strong, confident and assertive woman who kneels submissively at your feet ...and I'll show you a slave worth owning" ~Author Unknown
"Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn. It is not sex. It is not dirty.
Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive woman.. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual woman to come through.
Submission is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring and honesty. It is about being graceful, sensual, beautiful woman that resides within.
Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person but just the opposite. She is strong. Shis is strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She NEVER submits out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love and trust.
Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the Dominant is there to catch her if she falters. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman."
-Unknown Author-
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding. "— Anais Nin -
“The difference between a truly dominant man and a controlling one is that the dominant man needs and wants consent, whereas the controlling man doesn’t even understand what this word means.” -Sir J-
"Submission can actually engender power: realizing that you have something to give, and that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think S/He should want it, can inspire pride: not the false pride of an inflated ego, but the true pride that, like humility, comes from knowing the depths of your self." — William Henkin.
“Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.” - Valyraen
"Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn. It is not sex. It is not dirty.
Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive woman.. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual woman to come through.
Submission is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring and honesty. It is about being graceful, sensual, beautiful woman that resides within.
Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person but just the opposite. She is strong. Shis is strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She NEVER submits out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love and trust.
Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the Dominant is there to catch her if she falters. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman."
-Unknown Author-
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding. "— Anais Nin -
“The difference between a truly dominant man and a controlling one is that the dominant man needs and wants consent, whereas the controlling man doesn’t even understand what this word means.” -Sir J-
"Submission can actually engender power: realizing that you have something to give, and that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think S/He should want it, can inspire pride: not the false pride of an inflated ego, but the true pride that, like humility, comes from knowing the depths of your self." — William Henkin.
“Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.” - Valyraen
Followers
Blog Archive
-
▼
2012
(100)
-
▼
March
(28)
- Reading
- What I think I need...
- What is a Good Dom (or Good MAN, for That Matter?)...
- Submissive Challenge #6
- Disappointed
- Safety Concerns
- Chapters
- Working
- Resume and Ethics
- A Great Sunday Morning
- This Week
- March Madness
- I want more ink...
- Hmmm...as a intelligent female with a dominant sid...
- So true...14 signs he's just not that into you
- About Me
- Thinking Continues
- Eros Gathering...meeting 2
- Misconception
- Talking
- Negotiating...part 2
- Emotions...
- Figured out
- OMG
- Another Thinking Night
- Negotiating
- Acceptance with Hope
- This was a response in a Fetlife group: Dominant M...
-
▼
March
(28)
No comments:
Post a Comment