Another Thinking Night

Oh...I hate not being able to sleep. I'm tired and I haven't been feeling well but sleep still evades me...so I sit her with my mind jumping from topic to topic, wondering but not regretting my actions of the past.

A lot of men have attempted to say they were Dominant and I had to submit which hasn't worked for them at all. They have wanted to tame me, break me or change me with no success. Then they have moved on with their lies and empty promises to the next unsuspecting female.

I'm really not that difficult to get along with. I believe if an individual is going to make a statement, they should follow through with action. Just saying the words is meaningless and does nothing to develop trust or strengthen the bond needed for two individuals to succeed.

I don't believe most have taken the time to see the real me. The funny thing is those that I have an online relationship with has taken the time to know me and even love me. They care what is going on with me and even worry about me. Time and space has prevented us from having face to face time and develop the physical relationship.

What's really funny are the ones that state I'm crazy and I'm chasing them when its the opposite is true. They players who think they have game and won't get caught. However, they have a pattern and I happen to pay attention enough to see it. When I have determined that relationship doesn't meet my needs, I take my dignity and wounded heart away to heal. I don't look back. I don't follow their various pages on the different social networks. I don't call or text. I don't email. What do I do? I delete everything, pictures, phone number and email so to help me forget and move on.

I am human and do at times wonder if they are alright and found happiness. This is because I did have a caring relationship on my part but I also know that contacting them wouldn't help either of us. I walked away for a reason. I have a code that I live by. I have dignity and respect for myself even if they didn't.

However, the men would disagree. They would say that I didn't walk away because they have to uphold their masculinity. They couldn't have been the problem because its always the woman. This is especially true when it is revealed to their next conquest that they continue to seek me out. I know what is the truth and if they chose to build their foundation on lies that is on them.

On to the future...woohoo!