Talking

I'm amazed at the conversations that I have had today. They have been positive and eye opening.

The first has really been on my mind. I was laughing at my stalker and shared this information with the other person individual. Of course, he took it wrong. He thought I was bitching and putting him in the middle. The one thing that was said that struck me the most is I was the one doing everything. He seems to have forgotten the past.

For months, I ignored her and silly rants. For months, she had friends get on my page to see what I was writing and to use against me. For months, he bitched at me whenever she shared her pain. He always accused me of something and didn't believe what I was saying because he was basing everything on her statements. Now, I'm still at blame for simply telling him things first.

I ask him today, how am I to know he isn't lying to me since I know he has lied to her? He states he has no reason to lie. But if that is the truth why did he lie to her when he and his cousin came down to a party that I invited him too? And why hasn't he told her that he has a car?

I really don't think know why he continues to contact me. Its apparent in his eyes I don't do much right. He is even planning to come and visit me. I just don't understand what he wants. I believe he has feelings that he doesn't want to admit too but I don't need the roller coaster ride. I have so much more going on and he is aware of this. I know what I need to do but my heart and mind are in conflict.

Then a friend of my stalker writes a comment on my posting on another site. He states there are two sides to all stories and may be a third. Why don't people realize when blogging its one sided, the writer's? Are we suppose to report the other side also?

After several public post, I emailed him. I appreciate the conversation that I had with him. I had ask if she ask him to review my profile because I really don't believe in just chance. However, he state he was reviewing events and noticed that I might attend and checked out my profile. He also acknowledged who I was speaking about and even stated she showed her ignorance in a posting about me in another group.

I really have tried to move on and ignore things. I wish someone would just validate my feelings, not necessarily that I'm right, but that my reputation is being trampled. If everyone believes there are 2 sides to all stories, why isn't anyone asking for my side?

On the upside, my negotiations are going well. I think we have an understanding about what I want. I'm so glad I chose the person I did, he wants the scene to be great to me. He wants me to feel comfortable and safe. I think it will be a great scene and the anticipation will kill me...lol

Overall, some really good talks. I know what I need to do, its just doing it. Social workers are great at giving advice but not at taking, just as nurses make bad patients.