Thursday, May 31, 2012
New Tattoo
Oh...I so forgot how a new tattoo can be slightly uncomfortable.
I loved this tat in the pic and decided it was the one. Glenn had suggested handcuffs when I ask him for suggestions. I didn't just want handcuffs. When I was talking with my tat guy, he knew exactly what I was talking about. I'm thinking of adding some rope likes others use vines...
Monday, May 28, 2012
Hmmm...guess I need to get serious
Things in my life have been chaos. Work has been long and stressful which is why I have neglected writing. I'm not able to attend events due to work and car repairs. Plus I have to get serious about looking for a Dominant to seriously explore the pleasure pain thing.
Over the years and last several months, I have come to realize that I need a Dominant that is experienced. The inexperience ones become easily frustrated and show weakness which I'm able to exploit. Plus the inexperience ones feel full of themselves. Being aggressive sexually doesn't always mean one is a Dominant. The inexperience ones appear to be inpatient and don't always have the necessary information or rely on those with questionable characters for information which is shows their unreliability to the lifestyle.
I've had a bad week where the intent was the blame was to be placed on me. I was reportedly argumentative and sexually undesirable. I have the ability to be argumentative but wasn't. As for sexually undesirable that is so far from the truth and I won't even begin to make that my issue.
I have spoken to 2 ex partners who disagree and would love to have time with me. I also spoke with a man that could actually dominate me if we were in the same state who disagrees and he hasn't been with me. Then there was another who is willing to take care of me sexually and is actually excited about our upcoming meeting.
As for finding a Dominant, I now must ask about experience. Probably should also ask about why they are single and what has happened in previous relationships.
I wish G was closer. I think he truly understands me and I know he loves me. I believe he would cherish me while exploring. He does often want to choke me but he tells me when I have gotten him to that point...lol.
Over the years and last several months, I have come to realize that I need a Dominant that is experienced. The inexperience ones become easily frustrated and show weakness which I'm able to exploit. Plus the inexperience ones feel full of themselves. Being aggressive sexually doesn't always mean one is a Dominant. The inexperience ones appear to be inpatient and don't always have the necessary information or rely on those with questionable characters for information which is shows their unreliability to the lifestyle.
I've had a bad week where the intent was the blame was to be placed on me. I was reportedly argumentative and sexually undesirable. I have the ability to be argumentative but wasn't. As for sexually undesirable that is so far from the truth and I won't even begin to make that my issue.
I have spoken to 2 ex partners who disagree and would love to have time with me. I also spoke with a man that could actually dominate me if we were in the same state who disagrees and he hasn't been with me. Then there was another who is willing to take care of me sexually and is actually excited about our upcoming meeting.
As for finding a Dominant, I now must ask about experience. Probably should also ask about why they are single and what has happened in previous relationships.
I wish G was closer. I think he truly understands me and I know he loves me. I believe he would cherish me while exploring. He does often want to choke me but he tells me when I have gotten him to that point...lol.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
A submissive's Bill of Rights
You have the right to be treated with respect.
Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.
You have the right to be proud of what you are.
Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.
You have the right to feel safe.
Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.
You have the right to your emotions and feelings.
Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else's. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.
You have the right to express your negative feelings.
Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.
You have the right to say NO.
Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate your 'NO' can be confused with an ongoing 'YES'. When anything in your consensual scene makes you feel unsafe in any way, communicate that, and remove any doubt.
You have the right to expect happiness in life.
Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.
You have the right to have input in a relationship.
You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.
You have the right to belong.
Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.
You have the right to be loved and to love.
Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.
You have the right to be healthy.
Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.
You have the right to practice safe sex.
Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.
Author Unknown
Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.
You have the right to be proud of what you are.
Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.
You have the right to feel safe.
Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.
You have the right to your emotions and feelings.
Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else's. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.
You have the right to express your negative feelings.
Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.
You have the right to say NO.
Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate your 'NO' can be confused with an ongoing 'YES'. When anything in your consensual scene makes you feel unsafe in any way, communicate that, and remove any doubt.
You have the right to expect happiness in life.
Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.
You have the right to have input in a relationship.
You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.
You have the right to belong.
Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.
You have the right to be loved and to love.
Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.
You have the right to be healthy.
Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.
You have the right to practice safe sex.
Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.
Author Unknown
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