Thinking Continues

I really hate having a lot of time to think. I would much rather be feeling or experiencing but thinking is all I can do at this moment. I had a really good day. First, I'm back in the world of the employed. I quit my job in October just because it was too stressful to continue. As a social worker, I wanted to be at a job to be effective in improving another's life. However, I was only there for a pay check and I had all I could take. Oh...forgot to say that I can be and am at times impulsive...lol. Anyways, I'm now a manager at a group home.

This isn't a permanent thing because I do hope to go exploring at some point in my life. But my grandson's pending surgery keeps me grounded in Ohio for the time being. The upside, I will be able to attend all the functions that I want this year, especially this summer.

Part of my thinking has been around what I want, that is in a Dominant/Master. It comes to something rather simple, I want someone that can truly dominate my mind. Most any aggressive man can dominate my body because it will respond. But to truly dominate me, they need to be able to get into my mind and of course my body and soul will follow.

I'm not the type of woman that defines herself by the man that is around, nor am I a woman that requires a man. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the physical side, the touch but that doesn't define me. I'm intelligent and capable of just about anything that I set my mind too. I know who to solve problems so I don't need to be told what to do.

I want someone to guide me, not beat me into submission. Humiliation is also not a good way to manage me. I have a strong set of ethics that I live by. So to be my master, he must also be intelligent and live by a set of strong ethics. But until that time that I meet this man and he sweep me off my feet, I will not be owned or collared. I will submit in the bedroom when I choose and no where else.

A Dominant/Master needs to be stronger than I for me to submit mind, body and soul.

Oh...side bar...the mediation and energy that I learned about yesterday has helped me so much. I don't feel as dark or heavy of soul.