Those around us

I've been thinking that the people that we have around us are a reflections of us and our values. This doesn't just apply to our vanilla life but all aspects of our lives especially within the lifestyle.

When your new to the lifestyle, the information available could be shocking and overwhelming. But when you have a chance to observe interactions/play and chat with people, you find it isn't as shocking and trust is primary. So you look for people that have the same values as you and hopefully they will provide you with some valuable information.

I had a friend that was new to the lifestyle. Actually loosely feeling his way through. His reported sub continued to encourage him to be mentored by those individuals that she had an appreciation for. I encouraged him to look toward the leaders of the community for information, not those loosely associated. I also stated since her character was in question, she had a history to repeat negative behaviors like lying and stealing, he should avoid those that she suggested. Something along the lines of guilt by association. That probably wasn't correct since everyone should be taken at face value but when several with questionable characters are all associated then some serious questions arise.

Now that I'm again looking for a Dominant, this is all coming into play. I want to find someone the has knowledge, a skill set and is able to put it all together. I also want him to see me as a person and give me respect as I will give him. Our roles are different but when they are in harmony, its a beautifully, decorated two way street.