Well, now comes getting hit on. I really hate that.
I wonder if I will ever feel about someone like some of the others I have spoken too. They appear to worship their Masters. Their world revolves around their Masters. I can't see that happening with me at least where I'm currently living. I need to start looking for a Master. My next research project. I'm not going to jump into anything. I need to know that I will be safe and secure. That my needs and desires are important. That my feelings are important.
For some reason, an old friend started contacting me. Of course, he wanted to make sure that I knew he was a dom. The person I met was the life of the party. Now he is wanting to be all serious. The only downfall is his friends. There is a connection to drama. I will not be his sub or slave. I don't want to deal with those women any longer. I think that was a major problem with my last relationship. When a connection to those women are learned, I just need to run. I want something real, not drama filled. Eventually, I'll get B out of my mind. I keep wondering how he is but then I think he really didn't care how I was so I just need to stop.
Yesterday, I spent the day doing physical work to forget. I have the kitchen project to finish. Then we will need to set up our exercise room and then there is the pool project. Hopefully I'll be too exhausted to think or dream. At least I'm not mourning like I did the last time. Well, I guess the circumstances were different.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
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