I'm feeling a lil lost and I really don't know why. Now again I'm at the point of having to move on and not really knowing how. I really thought I found my destiny. Now I just wonder if that really exists. I have to live with more lonely days. Maybe I should just accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life. There's really no one out there that can handle me.
Ok...I need to stop dwelling on what should have or could have been. I also need to let go of the past and learn to trust. Not everyone is out to hurt me. However, as I have been told recently by a Mistress, I need to trust my gut. If it don't feel right, let it go.
Maybe I should stop trying to rush an experience. I just have this desire to belong to somone, to serve someone. I need to let go of my vanilla thinking. I need to truely think alternative lifestyle. Everything is acceptable. I think I'm going to spend the summer playing. This will give me time to get things in order. I'll be able to go to a few more munchies and a few play parties.
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