Thinking

I've been thinking about a lot of things of late. How I met B, the desire to explore a lifestyle that seemed so closed and especially what submissive meant. Over the months, I have been very frustrated because when I think I have an idea of what it is, I learn something new.

When i first met B, I had been in a long drama filled relationship and had made the decision to walk away. I had decided I was going to embrace my single life and enjoy it. I decided I was going to date which I really had never done. I had a few men that were interested and I was going to take them up on their offers.

With one, I was only ever going to be a booty call. But he was someone that had talked to me, became my friend and even helped me through a rough spot. Then there was another that actually ask me out. He didn't ask for a hook up, he ask for a date. The was a very new concept for me. However, I decided to change the tempo and we met for a booty call. Then came along B.

Several days after the new year, I receive a call from him telling me that he was again coming threw Columbus and would like to meet me. I agreed. He told me he would call when he got closer which would be the next day. His last comment was "don't stand me up again". However, when he called the next morning, I had been sick the night and early morning. I tried to say I was sick but he insisted. I agreed but didn't want to meet in his truck. I had never been in semi truck cab that had a bunk. I didn't think I could get into the truck and I didn't want to have sex in a truck. Sex was never stated but I figured this was what B wanted. I suggested I get a motel room. He originally stated no and was looking for somewhere to park. He then calls me to say he is checking into a motel. I still needed a shower and it was decided I would take one at the motel.

B called several times wondering where I was. When I arrived, he was waiting to let me in. We went to the room. We hugged and kissed then I went to the shower. While in the shower I was wondering if he would come in but he didn't. I later found out he wanted too but stayed out and watched TV.

I finished and dressed. I thought maybe I should just remain nude but I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. So i went out and we started chatting. He motioned for me to sit on the bed. He started touching, kissing and pulled at my clothes to have me remove them. I still wasn't really feeling well but he didn't notice. We had sex. It was so good. He seemed to be able to go forever. When he finished the first time I was laying on the bed resting and he began all over again. He had a quick recovery period. After several hours, he wanted to go get something to eat which we did. After eating, he said he needed to leave. He had to delivery his load and left with just enough time to get to the appointed location. I decided to stay at the motel. It gave me a quiet night to recoup from my chaotic home.

When leaving, he was hesitant. Later when he called me, he stated he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay. We agreed to see each other again and talked several times that night. During one of the conversations, I joked about having my toy bag with me the next time. He stated he would also bring his. I questioned him. He then started to tell me about what was in his bag. I ask if he was a dom and he stated "yes". This was a lil exciting but invoked some fear. I had an idea of what a dom and did. He told me BDSM was a lifestyle that he lived 24/7. He told me of his swinging experiences.

In later conversations, we decided to become a couple. There were a lot of rocky spots but he said he loved me and that was what I had been looking for. We had a small fight and didn't talk for a week. When we talked I ask about him helping me explore the BDSM lifestyle. He told me that I needed to do research. I needed to be sure this was a lifestyle that I wanted to be involved.

This was the beginning of my journey. More to come.