Relief

Finally my ordeal with B is over. This is the txt I received "From this day forward I want. You to hate me think of me as dead and burning in hell and promise you I shall do the same". This from a man who professed to loving me from the first moment he saw me. This because he was caught up in his own lies and wouldn't take responsibility for not being the man he stated or Dom/Master he stated.

During our relationship, he left me for other women twice. The first time within the first 30 days. He called me and stated he had sent for his ex and she was arriving the next day. He also told me that he was marrying her. This should have been my first red flag and I should have just walked away. Of course me being me, I exploded. A couple of hours later, he talks to me in a very authorize manner. He wants me to be the other woman. I accept this because I was blinded by emotion, stupidity.

During the next few months, he ask questions or makes statements that indicate he has been talking to women that had been previously involved with my ex. He ask if I was putting money on his books. He calls me a liar more often than should and accuses me of cheating. In the end, he judged me on what they said and not my actions.

He told me when he was in a committed relationship, he didn't cheat. However, he knew I was upset about my ex's being on one of his pages and that he was increasing the number of women on that page. I took myself off so there wouldn't be drama, I just didn't need it. One woman thanked him for a previous night. He told me it was for talking to her and again I was stupid enough to believe him. Then after we broke up a woman contacted me, I again exploded. I should have believed him when he stated "I'm not the man for you". He truely wasn't.

His first conflicting statement was "I told you earlier that I would get to you on the way things are you are going to read lots of shit that tries to define who and what we are I don't go by text book you have even offered to be my booty call but I said no the thing is I love you tina I don't see you as just a fuck or anything like that yes you are my bitch and I don't want anybody in my pussy but me or those I select I want to guide you and be the rock in your life truth be told its hard to do it with me on the road and you there and all the shit I got going on at home wich you say I shut you out of but that's not tje case its not that I s hut you out southerners don't like other people in their business and I feel what I would tell you would not so I just deal with things on my own". A couple of weeks later he stated the following "you refused to give me what i wanted when i offered you the contract...I found someone that did after you drug you feet on the offer...so now i am commited to that if its a problem its your own fault". He always tried to blame me. His last arguement today was he didn't have the time I needed. However, he did admit he never ask about my needs. He also sent me an apology for mistreating me and not being there when I needed him.

He states he is a man of responsibility but that is only when it benefits him. He wants a woman that will bow to him without question. He entered a contract with a slave, spent some time with her and another. Then within a few days sought me out for sexual satisfaction. He did it again after his last visit with her only this time I wasn't available.

I made no demands of him or his time. I ask him for nothing. When he was close, I would go to him and care for him as best as I knew how. My body was available to him to do as he pleased. This is what I got in return: I ask him for sex once and he refused. I wanted phones calls when he had stopped for no apparent reason. I wanted to explore the BDSM lifestyle and he refused. I ask him why and couldn't answer. I attempted to improve communication, he refused. He refused to read my checklist, wants and needs list or read my blog. So I decided to walk away. He then decides to contact me when his slave is unable to satisify him professing to love and miss me.

All this games, I ask why. He just needed to be honest. If he didn't want me, let me go. He also stated to me he didn't take seconds but I don't think any of the women he fucks with are virgins. But with me he was talking about my decision to play with another Dom when I was under the impression that we had broken up. He kept telling me "you have a man". That is a very vanilla thought for a Dom of 20 years.

Now I am dead and should be able to finally move on with my life. Yes, I love him but he was right. He isn't the man for me.