My mind has been racing with questions for days. I don't see any answers at this time and I'm trying not to make any decisions. I'm trying to gather informations so that I can make better decisions. In the past, I have been impulsive and inpatient which has lead to failures and unhappiness.
Some of the questions I have are: Can I fit going to Pittsburgh into my schedule on Monday? Can I afford to go? Am I rushing into another meeting? What's going on with B? What did he really think about what I had to tell him? Will he make in changes? Do we have a future or should I just write it off and move on? Can I find time to play this week with MK?
I want a simple life and everything seems so complicated. At times I feel pressured to make a choice but I have decided I'm going to wait. I'm going to continue to learn and grow into my submissive nature. I want the right fit.
I ask B for feedback on our conversation. He apologized for mistreating me and not being there when I needed him. Now the question is will this acknowledgement convert to change? What does the future hold? Sitting on a beach would make the thinking easier...lol. I thought I would throw that in, needed some humor.
Monday, May 10, 2010
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