Making a connection

It seems as if I have been doing alot of thinking about alot of things. I've read alot of blogs about BDSM, D/s relationship, being submissive, ect...I think everyone gets the picture. Some talk about service, some about their individual experiences and then the separation of sex and playing and/or playing and sex. Well once you really look, the information is just amazing.

Ok...what I have been thinking about is what I'm looking for in a Dom and my potential service. I know that a Dom's needs are important when in service. An attribute of submissiveness is the sub's selflessness. However, in the same aspect, the Dom needs to show the sub that their needs are important because it helps to develop trust for play time. As a sub, how can I know I'm going to be cared for during play if my needs and wellbeing aren't acknowledged in general.

For me, apart of learning to trust a new individual is based in their follow through. If I'm told they are going to do something, do they actually do it. It has been my experience that there is no follow through. Believe it or not, its with the simplest of things...a phone call...text...some form of communication. When I'm told they will get back with me...I just don't expect it to happen. That way I'm not disappointed when its a days or weeks later before contact is again made. I do make several attempts to contact but if no response then I can say I have attempted. I also know this isn't the person I'm meant to go past playing with.

Maybe I should also define what I consider play. Since most of my activities are sexually based, when I talk about playing I mean sex. Most who approach me that state they are doms only want to fuck...sorry for being blunt but its the truth. They really don't have any knowledge of dominating someone else besides in the bed. Now you may think I'm making a generalization but this has been my experience.

The person I'm looking for will see my selflessness and will look at me as a whole person. He will help me shift from being in total control to releasing control so that I may grow into the submissive that I'm capable of being. He will make me feel safe and secure. I will know when I find him.