Feeling

I'm sitting here trying to determine exactly how I feel. I don't feel a loss as I have in the past but I feel as if I'm missing something. I don't really know how to fix it because I have no intention of just giving myself blindly to anyone. I also have no intention of being a doormat.

At times, I wonder if my standards are just too high. I think I had a great long distance relationship but I needed to feel him. Experience things with him but that was possible because of life situations. I had a play partner that wanted to dominate me but had made too many mistakes and trust was lost. So now I wonder where things will go.

Over all the year has been a good kink year. I attended a couple of events. I have been able to explore my bi side a little further. I have made some really supportive friends in the lifestyle. I also had the opportunity to explore a couple of more sensations. I'm hoping to continue my growth and learning. I also hope to find someone that I can be comfortable with to help with my exploration of the physical side.