I'm a strong willed female that absolutely hates to show any type of weakness. Thats why I think I fought my submissive side for so long. Even in recent days, I have fought against it. Only now I don't see it as a weakness, its more of a desire that emerges.
Most of the relationships that I have been involved with have appeared one way. I give and nothing ever appears to be given back. This has created walls and attitudes with which those attempting to start something face as a challenge.
Another issue for me is I fall into a pattern where I become comfortable and don't want to move. I will express my displeasure but I'm typically ignored which causes so much upset on both sides. Eventurally, I do move and for some reason its not accepted. Its expected for me to always remain but I do learn and grow.
Well, I have felt stuck. After the stresses of work, I'm tired of dealing with people. I make plans to attend events and munches but never really make it past go. I get home and just don't feel like meeting the challenges of interacting with others. This is something I need to change. I'm going to make more of an effort to attend things especially with educational demos.
Hopefully, I will be writing more about my learning, interacting at events and experiences. I'm tired of hiding from those who wish to only start drama because they are truely empty in all aspects of life.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
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