I know

I know why B contacted me...he went and visited his bitch. Of course, she is unable to satisfy him sexually and he always attempts to return to me. Well, that will never be happening again. I do hope I made that clear to him. I guess I need to make the finally change. I need to change my phone number so that he may not contact me again. But then again, that will happen when I move.

That was the blog I started to write. I'm angry at him for doing what he has done which I'm not going to rehash. But I'm more angry with myself because I saw the red flags and didn't trust my head. I allowed my heart to rule. One lives and learns but that seems to fail with me. I keep living but don't learn to listen to my head.

Here is yesterday's horoscope which seemed so fitting.

"Just when you feel like you've come to a point of emotional stability and calm, Scorpio, something happens to throw you off balance. You may be uneasy with the notion of stability and feel what you really want is risk, action, and excitement. This inner conflict makes it hard for you to operate. Try not to overanalyze every piece of the equation. The solution will come to you."

Well, I'm still hurt because that is what happens every time he re-enters my life or attempts too. And, of course, I'm still disappointed in myself. But I'm getting back on track. I did a post last night on Fetlife wondering if I just realized to late in life to change. I received some really positive feedback. I also decided to attend an informative/educational event which was enlightening. Provided the positiveness that was really needed.

Another friend on Fetlife saw my rambling and wants to meet for lunch or dinner. She wants to provide some positive support. She doesn't want me to get discouraged with the lifestyle. I think I'm going to the munch on Thursday just because I need too. It will probably help me over these setbacks that I feel I have had.