Awaking

I think tonight was a very good night. I decided to take a friend who has become interested to a munch for her birthday dinner. The Sir who I played with ask if she wanted her birthday spanking. When I ask her, she said sure which shocked me.

When we get to the restaurant, Sir and his slave were already there. Me and my friend take a booth and Sir decides to sit with us. The four of us have great conversation. Then the topic of her birthday spanking is brought up. It is decided that we will go to another dominate's home which is close for the spanking event.

I'm recognized and greeted by several that had seen me before. This helps to ease the atmosphere. I have always attempted to stay in the background. Usually, I'm able to accomplish this unless I just don't care. That really isn't true. When I become comfortable and people become familiar, my true personality emerges. The lack of knowledge or awareness makes me shy and timid because I don't want to make a mistake. However, as i become enlightened, my confidence increases and I'm able to relax.

The basement is made into a dungeon. It was so cool to see and be in. It starts to make things more real. It puts words that I have read into a real life setting. The conversation continued with everyone telling of past occurrences. There was also laughing and joking which aided in creating a lighter mood.

Then the spanking began. Sir has excellent skills at spanking a beginner and making that individual comfortable. He is also able to engage those around to watch. Watching Sir put me at ease, released some fears. I want to be spanked but not publicly.

I have wanted to explore but have held back. I have feared being hurt and not handling that hurt in the correct way. It does all come around to trust. I trusted Sir the other night and he didn't let me down. I have never had anyone to take care of me when sick or injured. I know I only fainted but it was the care I was given not only by Sir but that of his primary also. I wonder how it would have been with one of the others.

Also, last night I decided to go meet another Sir. He approached me almost 6 weeks ago. I was impressed with his views of Master/slave. I had several conversation with him and his slave. Then I took a few weeks to think. I looked at his fetlife page again and some pics created fear. I finally decided to have a conversation with him telling him I wasn't a slave. I didn't want to lead him on and not be able to follow through with what he wanted. So instead of trying, I was attempting to back out. However, he cut me short. He put me at ease. He recognized that I was over analyzing which was creating fear. His statement was "o.k.. let's look at this.. you over analyze..you paralyze..by over analyze.." So I took the chance and contacted his slave again. She hadn't got my request for a potential day to visit. I told her Mondays were good and she told me which weren't for them. I have decided to go on Monday, May 10. It will be a good stress relief after working 5 days straight. Plus I told him what created fear for me. This will be a no strings attached meeting of individuals who have a potential attraction.