I've had alot of thoughts on my mind lately. I think the most dominate one was my experience with my first black man. The more I think of it the more I realize it was a D/s relationship. Even down to telling me after we had stopped seeing each other that i was his and no one would please me like he did.
It started with him as just a causal relationhip. We worked together but then he started paying me attention. I wasn't getting any at home so it was nice to have someone notice.
When we started to meet on a regular, he required me to wear a blindfold. I didn't understand why but i did. I wasn't permitted to remove it the whole time he was present. He would help me to the restroom and back to bed. He would get me whatever I needed.
He was also aggressive at times. I was staying at his home but not in his room. When he came home, he made sure I was there. Then he came into my room. When I began to fight him, he held me down and began to arouse me.
I wonder if he saw something in me that I ddin't. I think he would be truely surprised to see where I am today. I'm learning alot about myself. But I must admit, I'm truely tired of always being alone. I don't like the dating scene. I don't like men approaching just for sex. I want to have new experiences, not stay with the same old ones.
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