Trusting is the hardest thing I have found to conquer within this lifestyle. I find myself beginning to let the walls down only to find disappointment. Maybe I'm setting my standards too high but after being hurt, its hard to give yourself. Giving my body isn't an issue because the marks will heal. I may be stiff and bruised but it all goes away. When the heart is hurt, it don't leave you are easily as the physical pain.
I begin giving a little trust hoping to build into something powerful, moving. However, I become disappointed each time. I begin to reveal some of myself. Some of the things I have experienced in my life only to have them thrown in my face when the Dominate is dissatisified with a conversation. This allows me to rebuild the wall and make it even higher, almost guarnteeing no one will be able to break it down.
This all makes me question everyone and their motives. Why are they talking to me? Are they really different from those of my past? Are they honest? Most of the time, I have found that there is no difference from the past and present. And what they consider honest isn't the same as what I consider honest to be.
Well, the search and struggle continues.
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I'm a strong,independent woman who has only recently became aware of my submissive side. In reviewing my life, I have wanted to relinquish control and be dominated.
About Me
- sensualfreak
- I have recently had my submissive side awakened. I've had some tough times while learning to accept what I have always been. With acceptance, we are able to move to the next level.
Quotes
"It means nothing to dominate the weak....it's a badge of honor to dominate the strong.... Show me a strong, confident and assertive woman who kneels submissively at your feet ...and I'll show you a slave worth owning" ~Author Unknown
"Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn. It is not sex. It is not dirty.
Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive woman.. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual woman to come through.
Submission is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring and honesty. It is about being graceful, sensual, beautiful woman that resides within.
Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person but just the opposite. She is strong. Shis is strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She NEVER submits out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love and trust.
Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the Dominant is there to catch her if she falters. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman."
-Unknown Author-
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding. "— Anais Nin -
“The difference between a truly dominant man and a controlling one is that the dominant man needs and wants consent, whereas the controlling man doesn’t even understand what this word means.” -Sir J-
"Submission can actually engender power: realizing that you have something to give, and that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think S/He should want it, can inspire pride: not the false pride of an inflated ego, but the true pride that, like humility, comes from knowing the depths of your self." — William Henkin.
“Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.” - Valyraen
"Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn. It is not sex. It is not dirty.
Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive woman.. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual woman to come through.
Submission is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring and honesty. It is about being graceful, sensual, beautiful woman that resides within.
Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person but just the opposite. She is strong. Shis is strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She NEVER submits out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love and trust.
Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the Dominant is there to catch her if she falters. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman."
-Unknown Author-
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding. "— Anais Nin -
“The difference between a truly dominant man and a controlling one is that the dominant man needs and wants consent, whereas the controlling man doesn’t even understand what this word means.” -Sir J-
"Submission can actually engender power: realizing that you have something to give, and that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think S/He should want it, can inspire pride: not the false pride of an inflated ego, but the true pride that, like humility, comes from knowing the depths of your self." — William Henkin.
“Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.” - Valyraen
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