Seeking the Dom for Me

There are a lot of blogs and threads on Fetlife talking about how to find a Dom/Master. I think the most important thing is you should know you. You may not know what your looking for but you should have some idea of you or you will be searching blindly.

You should use the tools available to help you explore you such as a BDSM checklist. Luna at Submissiveguide.com has serveral activities to help a newbie learn and explore yourself in and effort to be a better submissive.

With that said, I'm currently attempting to find the Dom/Master for me. This is appearing to be a more difficult task then what I thought it would be. Some you find on the different social sites are masking themselves as a Dom/Master. They have become very adapt at influencing the weaker submissives. They look for ways to exploit with no real purpose except for their own self benefit.

Currently I'm talking to several men the declare themselves as Dominates. G has been in the running for over a year. However, there is something going on in his life that prevents him from wanting to meet me and advancing our relationship to the next level.

Then there is M. He fascinates me and I'm very intrigued. He offered to pay for me to visit and I'm planning on visiting him but family issues keep me in my state. I continue to communicate with him. He would be a LDR but he would allow for me to take care of my sexual needs. There are some stipulations which I could very well live with.

The last one, Mr is the most confusing. I've been talking to him for a short time and he seems to be more a swinger than Dominate. He does have the Dominate attitude but I'm not exacting feeling comfortable. When he talks to me its more about potential sexual involvement but doesn't say much about the BDSM side.

I've never done a gangbang and really didn't have an interest in doing one. I really don't know why. It maybe that I have never really received a lot of face to vace attention from men. Its seems like the internet has opened a door but that is only words. When it come to face to face like being out, I don't get attention. I'm not approached, very little conversation. I've gotten a little off track but this is apart of my ongoing search.

You see Mr speaks about me participating in gangbangs. It appears that he only wants control over my sex life. He hasn't talked about continuing my exploration of bondage or sensual BDSM.

I'm still working through issues of trust. I think it will be resolved when I find someone that I'm comfortable being with and can relax and let go. I continue with my search. Hopefully this will the year but if it isn't, let me have a good time exploring and meeting people.