The lies catch up

"Q: Not sure how to ask this but I was seeing a Man that introduced me kinda to D/s I did my best to be what he wanted but the communication was lacking and too many long absences without any reason We were on and off for about a year. I loved him with all my heart I still do. One day I got a message from another woman asking about our relationship, how often I saw him ect. I called him immediately he was very upset and told me to tell her to forget about it. Then he broke things off with me again saying he had issues he couldn’t be in a relationship. then we were back and he said he loved me. but things were still the same very little contact unless he was in the area (he drove truck) In Jan I wrote to him saying I couldn’t do this anymore I needed to get off the roller coaster. I never heard back from him. Then one day he calls me, He misses me and wants to see me. I told him i missed him too and wanted to see him. Then a couple weeks later I get a message from Him saying He was in a relationship and our friendship was hurting it and he had to end it. I said Iunderstood. Then I got messages from him again saying that we will meet again and sure enough we did. It was like time had stood still. I fell asleep and woke up to find him looking at my profile on fetlife. I never even knew he was on that site. I left and went home. I searched for his page and saw that he was in a relationship with the girl that had messaged me about him. I went to her page and saw that he was to collar her. I cried and regretted seeing him. about a week after he collared her he sends me a message wanting to see me. I told him I now have a Trainer/mentor that he would have to go through him. His reply was I will not ask permission for something that belongs to me. of course my reply was that he chose her he collared her. Now my question is how dose he feel I belong to him? I really don’t understand his thinking at all He knows he has my heart I think he always will but I know he isn’t good for me at all so I need to be strong. I am doing much better now especially with the help of my Sir but sometimes thoughts just creep up on you. I asked him this and as usually he didnt answer and when I told him i would not sneak around behind her back he really got upset with me."

This was the relationship that B and I had. There were some differences but mostly similarities. Of course me being reactive, I questioned him. This was our interaction:

Me Im attempting a dialog w/u. Ur showing ur ill manners by not resonding. It is so disrespectful.

B No what's. Disrespectful is the texts you send with your choice of words until you can act like you have some sense don't say anything to me because I won't respond

Me Fine…if u want respect u need 2 earn it. U don’t own or control me. U lost that priveledge.

B Then my answer stands

Me U stated n May we could not b friends. U continue 2 contact. Seeing you or not no longer matters. I felt u wantd some type of interaction but it wont b based on ur whimes.

B I just read your email you should go be with your sir don't contact me again and you question is bullshit

Me I didn’t post that. Someone else did. U should re-read the email

Me Would u like the whole newsletter? I was explaining my anger & txt

B Then why are you fucking with me

Me Cuz the dick was good

B No whyte chocolate wrote it I have seen it

Me So she was talking abt u

B Lol no

B That's why I told you it was bullshit I had seen it before

Me U didn’t respond 2 me. U only ask y I was starting

B But I am done fighting with you we can't be friends I won't have you flaring up because of some shit you have read elsewhere

Me Ok…again ur decision. I have no voice. I will not continue as a yoyo. Stick by ur decision. If I delete u again I will not ever respond 2 u again. We will be finished.

B So be it

Me Good bye

Me This summer I had a cancer scare. The only think I could think of was the 2 times u spoke me & death. Im glad u made the decision u did. I will hold u 2 it.

B Why are you still contacting me I will not be spoken to like that even if I am not your dom and you don't respect me then fuck off leave me alone

With our encounter in August, I thought I had put my emotions in check. That is until I had seen the above question. It just brought all my hurt and anger back to the surface. All the lying, cheating, disloyalty, verbal abuse, meanness and just the attempt to inflict the most emotional pain.

I had told him about a week ago that I didn't respect or trust him. He didn't realize that I was serious when I said that. He felt that he could just smooth everything over if he let some time go by.

These are previous interactions:

Feb 12, 2010
I told you earlier that I would get to you on the way things are you are going to read lots of shit that tries to define who and what we are I don't go by text book you have even offered to be my booty call but I said no the thing is I love you tina I don't see you as just a fuck or anything like that yes you are my bitch and I don't want anybody in my pussy but me or those I select I want to guide you and be the rock in your life truth be told its hard to do it with me on the road and you there and all the shit I got going on at home wich you say I shut you out of but that's not tje case its not that I shut you out southerners don't like other people in their business and I feel what I would tell you would not so I just deal with things on my own

May 18, 2010
I never abused you if you were coopperative from the get go none of this would have happened I am returning home so now my focus is on family no time for your foolishness. And games you focus on what the world sees not what I tell you I don't need a sub that can't listen so you go and. Enjoy your. Nice do

Weak lol okif you say so I am not weak I don't trust you is the issue you are the weak one you give in to pleasing the flesh more like thebehavior of a whore and slut with sex. So blame me for not being able to love another man I don't care anymore and when I got your vm I had already responded to your text but its cool I will do as you say and not contact you again no reply is needed to this text

So be it when you took on play time with another. Dom you killed us and any type or hope of being #1 I am not your destiny just a replacement for lamont
Ok then its you that has contradicticted what you said not me I came around you ran off

You read them but its cool I don't give a fuck no more we are beyond repair beyond being friends

This relationship has taken a huge toll on me. I don't trust which prevents me from playing. I doubt what I'm being told because it seems like all the men that have been in my life have lied. I'm suspicious when approached by an individual who has one of the infamous third parties as friends. Am I being approached because they see me as a person they want to learn about? Or is it because of the lies that the third parties are reporting?