As a child, I had a dream about love, marriage, family and how my life was going to be. Even with uncaring parents, iffy childhood, divorce, lose of many things, I was still able to have a sense of morals and ethical code. I still had dreams but they were only dreams. I didn't believe they would come true. I guess I lost hope.
I was married, neither lived up to my dream. Both men said they loved me but never made me a priority so didn't live up to the dream. Neither men took care of me, I took care of everything in the house so didn't live to the dream. Both men thought there activities came first I was there to support them unless the kids had something, this included surgeries. However, I've always been alone so no dream here. Of course, a good sign that the dream failed, I've had 2 failed marriages and multiple failed relationships.
So sense I'm middle age and the likely hood of finding a successfully relationship, I conclude that in reality the dream is a fantasy. I don't know why it exists for some and not for others but for me it doesn't. Love is real with my children and grandchildren but that's the extent.
I don't know how this really affects me at this point. Its just a realization that I've came too. Now I need to figure out how this fits into the puzzle. I think it will be interesting.
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