Importance of Aftercare

After last week's play session and a week of processing, I finally have come to a clear understanding of the need and importance of good aftercare. I felt good this week. No emotional downs or mood swings as I have experienced in the past. All these thoughts were fresher in my mind at the beginning of the week but work prevented me from writing. But back to the topic at hand now.

When I first played and explored with the physical sided, I was still really "vanilla" trying to find myself and make adjustments. Basically, I was still trying to break the constraints of the vanilla world and embrace the loving poly lifestyle which I wanted to be apart.

So in my first play session, the Dominant and his slave were great. Everyone knew what was going on, nothing was hidden. We were all friends and continue to be friends. But the vanilla in me refused to accept the aftercare. Apart of me refused to believe I needed anyone to comfort me, I think apart of this was because I had just left a bad relationship and was attempting to move on. It was a wall I built and didn't want to let anyone in at that time so the results were I suffered from subdrop.

I already have Bipolar so the sub-drop only made the roller-coaster ride that I experience worse. I only played with this Dominant a few times but I should have learned the importance from him. I believed he tried to show me, I just wasn't ready.

Every play session I had til last week, I suffered sub-drop. However, the next individual wasn't a dominant. He had aspersions to become one but failed to understand the importance of aftercare. He felt our play wasn't real since it wasn't public so there was no need to care for me.

Now after last week's session, I don't remember much but I do remember being held. My head was on his shoulder, his arm was around me and his head was against mine. It was very comforting. He might have even been talking too me...I don't know. I could have laid down and took a nap but I just wanted to go home to do that. I think if I separated from him I might have been able to think a little clearer. It had been a really good night.

I told him an unreasonable time for me to be home. I made a detour to see friends then to the store. I was amazed to see he had text to see if I was ok because I was to text when I got home. I explained what I had done and I was leaving the store which was 5 minutes from home. Then the next morning he text to check on me again.

Sunday I laided around all day but wasn't depressed. Monday, I felt great. I attribute this to the aftercare. Thanks Sir!!!