Simply Amazed

I have a long drive to and from work so this leaves me a lot of time to think about several different topics. Today, I was thinking about past relationships and current who I'm interacting. The comparison leads my thinking to the negative and positive impact on me and my development as a submissive.

When I first began to explore this life, I really wasn't encouraged. I was told to believe there was a difference but the core of the lifestyle really didn't exist. There was deception and hidden agendas. There was no guidance, no teaching and most of all no encouragement. This resulted in distrust which destroyed the relationship. It also made me doubtful and mistrusting of others that approached.

Over the last couple of years, I have been reading, following blogs, asking questions and observing the interaction of those in a D/s relationship. I believe I have a good grasp of the dynamics of the different relationships within the lifestyle. I'm also aware, the individuals make the relationship to fit their needs which gives each relationship its own uniqueness.

Until now, I have been hesitate and even feared committing. And at times some of the old feelings creep in and make me wonder if I made the right decision. When I chat with Sir, those feelings leave and I know I made the right choice for Sir to be my first official Dominate.

There has been some Dominates which have helped clear the way for me to feel this way. They have taken the time to answer my questions and continue to be supportive of what I choose. But its not just the Dominates, its also the subs and slaves who have taken the time to befriend me. These individuals have shown me that there are trustworthy individuals who will help another learn and develop into the person that they have a potential to be. It basically restores my faith in people.