Love

This is a topic that crosses my mind often. I've thought that its an over-rated emotion. But the other day when I was driving home from my play partner, I put it in a more realistic view. Something that I can accept, I should say.

There are many levels of love. At first, I always thought there could only be two: that for family and that for a partner. However, I don't believe that love is that simple. Even within the context of family, there are several levels.

When your talking the love for family, you have that for your child(ren) which to most individuals is an extremely strong bond to break or release. For me that same love extents to my grandchildren. Then you have that for your parents and finally all other family members. Of course, individuals can cross boundaries depending on circumstances. In my opinion, this particular love is innate and natural.

Now, when it comes to other people, one has to look at several things. Sometimes you can look and have extremely strong feelings which some confuse for love but its probably more attraction. The deep and everlasting takes time to develop with honesty and respect. This is a healthy and can substain most difficulties that may occur through the years.

This line of thinking makes me analogizes my own feelings and the relationships. In the past, I have thought that I loved several men but it wasn't anything more than an illusion. Dishonesty and the lack of respect only promoted distrust which resulted in the destruction of the relationship. This produced hurt feelings and anger. Walls built so that others will be blocked from the healthy interaction which is needed for growth of the individual.

However, in the last several years since those dysfunctional relationships, I have been able to find men that have shown me honesty and respect can be apart of a relationship. This promotes trust and positive feelings which are allowed to flourish and spand the test of time. These individuals may not be the person that you are to spend you life with but they help you to focus on positive productive feelings, not the negative which destroy.

I can honestily say I levels of love for 3 men at this point in my life. The first being my Dominate. He has been patient, honest and willing to listen which helps the past feelings of hurt and anger to dissolve and positive feeling of respect and love to grow. The second being my current play partner. As with Sir, I'm able to tell him anything and he feels the same with me. This elevates surprise of a misunderingstanding arising. I feel safe to ask questions and to tell my feelings. I think this makes me for accepting of guidance from Sir and expoloration with my play partner. When I'm upset about something, I'm able to express myself more appropriately with both individuals. This allows for clarity of expectations on all sides.

There is a third man that I have a level of love for. He was the first to help me dissolve those negative, destructive feelings. He has been patient, supportive and encouraging during the last several years. He has assisted me more than he will ever know. He has helped to open the doors to my healthy relationships with Sir and my play partner.

With all 3 of these individuals, I don't know what the long term plans or involvements will be. But I do know I will always have love for them and will always remain friends. I will be able to depend on them for support when needed.

I do hope I get out of this mood soon. I sound so mushy...lol.